Notes from the Workshop:
Where have all the young adults gone?

ELCA Youth Ministry Network Extravaganza 2007

What is a young adult?
Young adult are people between the ages of 18 and 35, who have not reached the life stages that have traditionally marked “full adulthood”
Those stages being married, financial independence have children, secure in a career, and finished with higher education.

Creating Spaces for Young Adults

Meeting in the places they already are, coffee shops, bars, art venues, virtual communities, and outdoor venues.

Church can create space by making physical hospitable, providing room for young adults with in the structure of the church, and affirming and using the gifts of young adults, and safe non-judgmental environments.

Community Building
Fellowship is the main way to build community. Community and relationships are built around sharing food. Relationships are key, and ministry must be authentic and although facilitated should be self guided, and fluid.

Ideas for building those bonds are service projects, small bible study and theology pubs.


Urban Tribes

According to Wikipedia are “are, according to Ethan Watters, a groups of never-married's between the ages of 25 and 45 who gather in common-interest groups and enjoy the urban lifestyle.
Urban lifestyle communities offer a viable alternative to traditional family structures.


What this means for ministry is that Urban Tribes are becoming people’s families of creation rather than a spouse and children, hence creating a new tension between young adults and their families of origin. The church needs to respond to this new family dynamic and acknowledge those types of primary relationships.

What’s working?
Ministry’s built around the sharing of food, and going to young adults rather than them coming to the church.

Churches the help to facilitate “familial" relationships to transient young adults.

Mentoring

A Little Reading Time

I stood there in front of a wall of magazines at the newsstand in the airport. My fight was delayed and I had already read through my copies of Cosmo and Newsweek that I had saved reading until my fight back to school. I still had another 6 hours to go before I got back to my apartment; I had nothing left to read. I didn’t want to buy a book, because classes start tomorrow and I wouldn’t have time to read it before I have to start reading textbooks. So there I was, a whole buffet of magazines to choose from but nothing I wanted to reading. NOT one magazine on that wall could claim me as an audience. The magazine wall in the newstand at the D terminal at the Pittsburgh airport is dived into three categories, Men’s Interest, General Interest (news and entertainment) and Women’s Interest. I glanced at the Men’s interest; I figured what the heck sometimes there is an article that catches my eye. Esquire had an interesting article about an injured vet that I thought I might like to read. Making my way to general interest I looked at the entertainment magazines every single one had the headline that ended “the YEAR IN REVIEW” and I really didn’t have any burning desire to read about Suri Cruise or what Paris Hilton was wearing to a Christmas party. As far as news magazines go. I had just finished reading Newsweek and preferred not to read any more about the death of President Ford and the execution of Hussein. This left me in the Women’s Interest section.

I have decided that that women’s magazines are divided into to categories, Magazines for mom’s and magazines for the fashion conscious promiscuous single girls, and not being either of those two, I ask the question, what’s a girl to read while waiting for her plane? In the mom category, there was Redbook, Ladies Home Journal etc. In those, the tag lines cleverly contained articles pertaining to how to balance your work schedule with your child’s extra curricular activities, or finding time for you and your husband between soccer games and ballet lessons. There are recipes that your kids will love without knowing that they are nutritious, While the magazines aimed for those of us without kids and households to run have taglines such as, How to make sure your guy has a full body orgasm, and how to dress like the stars for less.

Well I don’t have kids and although some day I might need to know who to disguise string beans so that my picky eater of a four-year-old will eat them; I can’t say that is an article on the top of my reading list. As for the articles about sex, I would like to just have a date next Saturday night other than renting a sappy chick-flick with my housemates. (Whom I love.)

Where are the magazines that have myself and most of my friends as an audience? Where are the articles on “saving money at the grocery store, when as one person you can’t possible use the family size bottle of ketchup” or “finding Mr. Right some where other than the local bar.” Or, “ how to combat the question-“ you’re still not married?” at a family function. As I listen to the woes of my friends, both male and female in similar life situations to my own, I hear similar concerns, that print media just seems to be ignoring. Concerns such as, how do I pick a career? or did I pick the right one for me.? How can I find a job doing what I love? What if I do end up old an alone? What if my family doesn’t agree with the lifestyle that I have chosen? Is it all right to date a person who already has children, and what does that mean for my future family? How do I start a romantic relationship with a friend? Should I start a romantic relationship when I know how transient my life is right now?
This is the advice that the many single people need, regardless of gender. Where is the magazine section called real life issues?

Come on in

Last week I listened someone preach on the last supper. He asked the question what must it have been like to be the owner of the house with the upper room? I mean come on these 12 guys come to you house and say, "Hey, we need your house." Do you let them in? The concept of hospitality is something that fascinates me. Is the often over looked message from this text, that we should always be ready to welcome the stranger? We as humans truly never know whom the person is that we welcome into lives and our homes. What does that mean to our congregations as well. Who are we not letting into our doors? Last night was felt very much like I was being held at the door and not welcomed in. There was a speaker at a church that I really wanted to hear. It was advertised as open to the public. When I arrived at the church. I parked my car in what I thought was the church parking lot, and went to the front door. It was 20 degrees and dark outside. This was an urban neighborhood that I have never been to. The front door was locked. I tried the next door: locked as well. I tried 4 doors before I caught sight of a teenager being dropped off enter an almost hidden door. After followed her into the church, I found myself in front of a sign that said, "If parked in lot, you will be towed!" Nothing about where on could park, however. There was a stairway in front of me with no direction as to where the speaker was. Now not being a shy person I looked around to find my way to a fellowship hall coatroom, where an article was hung. "Information for Greeters and Ushers: How to welcome visitors to your church." I found this very ironic not one tip had been followed by this church. A simple sign would have made the difference.
This experience should challenge all us to search with in ourselves, our homes, and our churches to examine the things in are lives that are saying- you can't come in.

Marital Status Discrimination

I consider myself a pretty happy person. I have a great group of friends and family that loves me, but there are times when it seems like the world rubs my singleness in my face. There have been times when I almost feel discriminated against. I recently was at a large chain bookstore, when after being super frustrated with the sales woman in the children’s department not knowing anything about child’s lit, I went to the counter to pay for my other purchases when I handed over my debt and membership cards. The cashier informed me that my membership (discount) card had expired, and that I could renew it for $25. When I declined she kept pushing the membership, trying to sell it on its merits. The more I said no, the more points she made. Finally she said to me, in a very perky voice, “but your whole family can use the membership.” For me this was slap in the face. Was she assuming, that because the norm of culture is to be in traditional family by my age, that I am. So very firmly I responded, “I’m a family of one thank you.” Took my card back and left the shop, leaving my purchases on the counter.
My question is this, if a store or organization is including families (4-5 people) in the cost of their memberships, shouldn’t there be a discount for those of us who are families of one? Or Should we be finding ways to redefine the family?